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ok I feel like I'm blind af but how do you go to the cafeteria

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So here I am again after trying this game out and writing a short comment a year ago. First off I will admit I did not give the game a proper chance the last time due to the infamous English translations, so dropped the game after the intro. But this time, I have completed everything on sandbox mode (I think). So here we go, a full review of the current game state (as of v0.2.2)

First off, I'll talk about the stuff users would be more interested in:

1. Plot is really good actually. One thing that I believe put off a lot of players is the confusing story at the start. For those of you who gave the game a go and are absolutely baffled, know that figuring out what the fuck happened at the beginning is a main plot point of the game. It is gradually revealed to us in breadcrumbs, and I think the author is doing a great job with this, the downside is it requires the players to be patient enough to get through quite a few quests to see this (which let's face it, most players aren't, including me a year ago xD )

2. Music is still fire. None of the usual copy-paste music we hear on many AVNs. I like that.

3.  Characters. Well designed, good amount of intrigue, and not falling for the protagonist in a stupidly short amount of time (bar two exceptions). 

4. Morgane.

5. Morgane, again.

6. Bugs, there are quite a few of them crawling around, but fortunately nothing that will ruin your day. But the author is fairly on top of any bug reports, especially on discord, so look to join it if you have feedback or bugs.

Now to address the cons/suggestions (may contain mild spoilers):

1. UI. Still as amazing as ever. It is clear a fair bit of effort has been put in here. Though I will recommend a few changes/additions. 

> 1a. Cost of apps. Buying apps are understandable, but £50 for a map? Lol. I understand from a gameplay perspective, but it felt weird paying that much for a simple utility that admittedly, we won't be using a whole lot since the manual navigation is pretty easy if not faster than opening the map. I would say maybe make the map accessible via the main UI rather than through opening the phone? Like how the inventory is. If the convenience is really worth it then it could justify the funny price tag.

> 1b.  Buying an app to access Skyrim inventory? Might make more sense to have an app for something like an online shop like Amazon or something to buy directly from. Otherwise, make some way for the inventory to be able to access the fridge and/or transfer between the two containers, because ultimately all I find myself using is the fridge at home, or the coffee machine at school, or just waiting the next day.

> 1c. The map. Its not a problem after playing the game and using the map for a while, but I think it could be worth putting a silhouette over accessible areas. Even without hovering the mouse over them. As we do not directly receive a notification what becomes accessible and when.

2. Although the music is good, transition at times can be too rapid. What I mean by this is, going from a sex scene to post-sex the music can change rather quickly.  For example, in Nora's scene during the BJ the music was loud, and after ejaculation it just went quiet all of a sudden. If you wanted to transition to the next song, rather than just cutting it off, might be worth lowering the volume of the first song instead. Silence can be pretty loud after all, with or without sex.

3. The colouring has improved, as I nitpicked in my comment the last time, bright bits aren't too bright now. Only time I will say is a bit difficult to view, is the flashbacks. Having dark backdrops and the clouded effect makes sense, but visually it can be tricky to see what exactly the protagonist is seeing.

4. Animations. Its great that we have them but they do look a little bit clunky. Textures, characters and positions are good, just the actual moving aspect. But not too big a concern, this improvement should come as you work on the game further. One of my favourite AVNs (my very first too!) from the author of the AVN giant Eternum, Once in a Lifetime, also started with clunky animations. They also improved drastically over time. Not nitpicking seeing as this is your first AVN (I think?), but just pointing this out to remind you there's always room for improvement :)

5. Suggestion: Character list? Might be worth for returning players after new updates to see who's who. For those with the memory capacity of a goldfish like mine. Could either create it as a new app or integrate it into the quest list, just that this means instead of closing quests the way you currently do, you now have to add "there are no more quests left for this character this update" to every quest tab to keep them open.

 6. Not very important atm, but down the lane, make use of call/message function? Or at least keep the message log/history to make it feel more like an actual messaging app. Not a big priority but oh well, why not?

7. I assume there is more to come down the lane in future updates, but currently there is a lot of explorable areas in commercial district for example, with nothing to do in them. Maybe have repeatable actions in some of them for sandbox mode. Or get us to that clothes shop :)

8. Finally, the big one. I know this has been a source of headache for awhile now but I think it will continue to be the biggest thorn on your side until remedied. English proofreading. There has been significant improvement since the early days of machine translating, but playing through v0.2.2 there still is quite a few awkward grammatical/spelling mistakes. I read from your discord that you have hired someone to cover this. Which is good. And I hope that as of the 0.2.2 release they are still in the process of fixing errors in the previous updates. Because some bits are written pretty well, others not so much.  Remember, you're paying them, whip them if you have to if they're not already working on it. I can try to point out stuff on discord when I can, but I'll wait for the next few updates to see how that goes.

9. Morgane. Nothing wrong with her, the only con is that she's not yet wife.

And there we have it. Great game overall @VitaYok, definitely looking forward to what's to come. And just maaaybe, you might have tempted this AVN veteran to finally create a patreon account to support the hard work going on out there, when I get my paycheck end of the month

(+2)

Wow, thank you so much, buddy. I really appreciate your time, and you spent quite a bit of it writing all of that.

It was a pleasure to read your message, as it’s not every day you get such constructive criticism.

Overall, I completely agree with you, and everything you mentioned will be added—it’s already planned. The clothing store, the character information tab, and everything else. The only problem is time, or rather, the lack of it (earning a living can’t be ignored).

Yes, the translation is a painful topic for me because I can’t do much about it. The proofreader only worked on version 0.1, and I haven’t saved up enough for more yet. Basically, everything the project brings in goes back into it.

I’m glad you liked it, as I understand the game isn’t for everyone.

Take care, and I’ll see you in future patches!

(+1)

Walkthrough pdf

Why? There's an in-game smartphone where all actions are laid out

(+4)(-1)

Will there be impreg?

(+2)

The game isn't about that. I won't make any claims—anything's possible

(1 edit)

THis current update ends with the scene with Milla right? or is my game bugged.Edit also was i supposed to lose points with characters randomly?

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It's hard to say, but probably yes. If you played the sandbox version, you should check the quests to see if they're completed for you or not. As for the VN version, yes, this is definitely the end of the patch.

It all depends on the situation. Sometimes you can influence it by choosing the right answer, and sometimes you can't. I will gradually develop this mechanic.

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Yo so I've done all the quests that I can but Milla just vanished at 7/30 and it says go outside? Seems like the quest bugged out but I'm not sure.

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Hi Atm0s.
I have no idea what you're talking about, buddy. Milla actually can't disappear at all; she's only absent after 4:00 PM, and you can only interact with her at the bypass. Maybe you mean Palmira? Yeah, she does disappear after all her quests, and that's normal. Overall, just keep an eye on the quests.

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XD She absolutely did disappear. I rushed through VN mode later and so found out that it was when she went working she just never returned. Doesn't matter to me anyhow, that save is dead.

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Ah, yes, there was such a moment. I'll check if there's an error there, but in theory, it should have returned after a few days. Ideally, she should have sent you a message saying she's back.^^

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how do lily lost her body
why is Alice flying
what happened to the mom
why is the begening cut ?

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You're asking the right questions^^
There are plenty of hints and clues, and I hope you've already found answers to some of them.
In turn, I'll gradually add and reveal the answers.

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Aight Going to try this now I don't know, How much Content is in but I'm Thrilled Trying This. I'll comment soon for reviews and stuff. Good luck to me I guess. 

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There is a scene where 1 Lily's sister( I actually don't know if that person is Lily or her sister because the dialogue is really confusing. Really need Dev to confirm it) and her friend are raped in the past.
Because the later plot seems quite dark like the rape scene I mentioned and the violence and blood scene (revenge scene) so can you tell in advance if there are any tags planned? I'm only worried about the main LIs (mostly NTR or abused).

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This story fragment serves as a flashback about Lily's past. "The main character is confused, thinking it's her sister, as he cannot be present in her memories."
(Not sure if explaining and dissecting the event is the right approach, but it seems to be a concern for you).

-As for the tags: NTR  - is not planned.   Abuse - it depends on what you mean."

"Primarily, I'm trying to tell an interesting story that evokes emotions rather than conforming to specific tags. I'm not strong with tags, so I can't specify which tags are planned."

-As for the darkness: The whole story is built on conflict and its resolution. "The resolution depends on the situation and the character." 

So yes, I will continue to have both positive and dark moments in my story.

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I think you should clearly write those sensitive tags or add a function to warn players and be allowed to skip scenes like that. Because in Harem games, players are extremely sensitive to jump scenes related to LI being harmed (especially related to sex). I've played quite a few games like that and the devs are usually very careful with this

(+2)

Ok, in F95 someone has posted several images of it. Personally, I'm not going to play a game where they're going to show me how some guys rape the LIs.

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Nobody is raping the LIs. But I'm glad you've made up your mind; clearly, the game isn't for you. Have a great day!

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The truth is that I don't like rape in general. That they were LIs would only make it worse.

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Shut the hell up YogSothoth1982 and go on somewhere you and the rest of them clowns are some real retard. The ones that make shit up. and causes issue for people that want to create games for you losers to play. Stop crying or go play a game that is for you.

(+2)

Is femdom avoidable?

(+1)

I don't have any femdom content. "There are only characters and their personalities (Problem = Solution)"

But most likely, the question is about the scene with the catgirl cosplay. (I understood this from your comments on f95). It can be avoided by not completing Isaac's quests in sandbox mode. In the VN mode, there is currently no such option.

And if the scene is not femdom, what is it?

(1 edit) (+3)

It's a good game with plenty of good ideas but is in desperate need of proofreading and refinement. As someone with a good bit of experience in game design and as someone who has spent years playing games like this I’ll give some tips. Feel free to ignore or use any of my tips.

1 -is obviously to find proof readers, the game seems to have a good premise but the bad translation makes it really hard to tell what people are talking about. I recommend asking your discord if anyone is willing to do a basic translation for free.

2 -this one is probably partly caused the the translation issue but the explanations at certain points of the game are really lacking and I would recommend expanding on both the explanations from characters and just the dialog in general so that conversations feel more fleshed out. Right now it feels like the characters are rushing through conversations a bit too much. 

3 -is to try and add a bit more contrast in the scenes. What I mean by this is making characters more clear from the background, the art is great but in some scenes it hurts my eyes because many colors are often a bit too bright or too dark. This is something you will get better at with practice so it's not that big of a deal.

These are just a few small tips so do with them as you will, I would also recommend talking to other game creators in the same genre. Many of them are very cool people and will help point you in better directions than I could. I also recommend in the future every few updates to go back and touch up the earlier parts of the game as you will improve a lot as you work on this and will most definitely find things you can improve from past updates, though you should not worry about this much at this stage of development.

Deleted 221 days ago
(+4)

I'm sorry, I really tried to make it through all the available content but I just couldn't. I'm just repeating what has already been brought to your attention, but the translations and proofreading desperately need some work.

The screenshots look great, the description and what little of the story I played through seems interesting. It's just too troublesome to make sense of what's being said most of the time.

I think this is a title I'll try again in the future once some more updates come out

(+6)

I've got a problem, and I've been trying to find a solution for a while now. Currently, my game is distributed for free, and I don't have the means to pay a professional for their work. I'm trying to find someone who can help me resolve the issue with the English text, to correct it. However, since I'm working alone, without any support or funding, it's not easy. Right now, this issue is a top priority for me. Thanks for your feedback!

(+6)

Hello VitaYok,

I just found your game and it is as you said it needs a proofreader. I would be up for it because i enjoy ur game n would do it for free in my spare time. Just think about it because i don't wanna see ur game get deleted because of bad spelling just to good for that it definitely is a good game.

(+1)

Hey buddy.
Characters looked good so I decided to give this a go.
But your English is atrocious. That means bad.
Get yourself a proper translator (and no google is not proper) to proof your work.
If you fix it I'll give it another shot, cause it really does look good.

(+2)

Sorry about that. There is an issue, and I'm aware of it =) Trying to find a solution, so not all hope is lost, buddy=)

Happy to hear that!

(+1)

Banger audio, personally not a big fan of the character sounds but that's subjective and the inclusion of it was worthy of praise. 

Promising story, absolutely love the new gen UI. Though I would prefer having the text (on selection stuff) slightly larger.

Amazing designs and vibrance, but I would comment that the brightness is a bit high, so where there are white backgrounds I get flashbanged.

Only one thing stood out that is very jarring, and that's the english translation(?). I would try and get a proficient speaker to help proofread. 

All in all, very very good stuff and definitely looking forward for more.

Hey.
Thanks a lot for the constructive feedback =)
Regarding the voices, as you mentioned, it's a matter of taste, and everything related to music, voice , and sound can be turned off.
I personally like it that way, even though it adds more work.
I didn't quite understand what you meant by text size.
At the moment, there are no funds to pay a professional proofreader, but there is an issue, and I will try to fix it in future patches.
If you'd like to explain where exactly the text is too small or suggest some changes, I invite you to my Discord.

(+1)

Fire soundtracks

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11/10

Good game 

Good story

Sexy and cute characters

It's quite a novelty for adding a sound to a character while talking.

But it's very good , so sexy !

so a lot of details

i can comment more in the future update !

sry for my bad english

11/10, that's like =).  I love the details even though it takes a lot of time. I'm glad you liked it. I'll be waiting for your comment in v0.2.

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Ngl this might be my secondary  vn,that holographic phone is nice as hell+i fw thw story so far.I can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it. There is a lot of room for development and a lot of ideas. There would only be time to do only the project. But at the moment everything is built only on pure enthusiasm.

(+2)

I like that holographic phone. Hehe

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=)
"The future is here. Upgrade your smartphone to enter a new era" XD

(+1)

Android version ??

(+1)

At the moment, there is no Android version. I encountered some difficulties with the Android version, so I decided to postpone it for now